Why I Stopped Making New Year’s Resolutions and Chose Intention Instead

Research suggests that around 80% of people abandon their New Year’s resolutions within the first month. What begins with excitement and ambition ends up in shame and disappointment.

For 2025, I wanted to do something different, something less focused on goals and achievements and more rooted in intention.

So, instead of setting New Year’s resolutions, I chose a single word to encompass my intention for the year.

This word would act as a reminder of the agreement I had made with myself, guide my decisions throughout the year, and support the process of changing patterns long term.

The word I chose was PAUSE.

Why PAUSE?

In a society that promotes hustle culture and shames rest, I had also fallen into the habit of constantly working towards the next achievement. On the surface, this may have looked impressive, but behind the scenes I was regularly fending off burnout and moving at a pace that wasn’t sustainable.

What pace are you currently living at and who is it really for?

By stepping away from the external validation of achievements and a schedule that was exhausting, I aimed to find a slower pace, one grounded in what genuinely matters to me.

Mostly, it was an experiment. I wanted to see if I could actually pause, and I was curious about what might be in the moments of stillness.

I fundamentally believe in the therapeutic process and, as a practising counsellor, I maintain that there is always more I can learn. Not because anything needs to be ‘fixed’ or ‘improved’, but because I enjoy exploring, discovering, and understanding new layers of myself.

Through therapy, and increasing self-awareness, we get to experiment with different ideas and versions of ourselves as we move through new stages of life and uncover deeper layers.

What happened during the year of PAUSE?

Oooff, I struggled!

I was frequently pulled back into the old pace of go… go… go, and at times it took a while to even notice it happening.

The short-term cost of sitting in the stillness felt uncomfortable because it was new and the positives of the long-term gain felt so far away.

Why do I share this?

Because the truth is, it’s hard to change habits that have developed subconsciously over many years and naturally, they take time to shift.

You’re allowed to feel frustrated and nervous. You’re also allowed to be patient and curious when you notice an old pattern creeping back in. You can gently say to yourself, “That’s okay, what next?”

Where did it lead me?

Gradually, I began to slow down.

I started saying yes to things that matched a pace I felt comfortable with, and saying ‘no’ or ‘not now’ to the things that didn’t. Yes, it has felt scary at times. Yes, sacrifices have been made. And I’m still nowhere near done yet.

No one is ever a finished product. And you don’t have to be!

What’s next?

I’m continuing the agreement I made with myself in 2025 and giving it the space to evolve as I do. My intention is to continue to cultivate a life that fits for me, rather than one I have to constantly overextend myself to fit into.

Your turn:

As 2026 approaches, I invite you to choose a word and see where it leads you.

Experiment with releasing old patterns. Choose an intention that doesn’t have to carry the weight of a resolution, especially when 80% of us don’t stick to those anyway.